Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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