That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
do herpes really smell.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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