Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
