i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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