I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
MIDGETS
????
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
