Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
