oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
