Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
