I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize
