5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
