New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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