I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
my mouth tastes like poor choices
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
