I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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