dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I don't deserve a penis
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
