Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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