I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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