This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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