She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
The adults are the big ones right?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
