I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I think I am morally bankrupt
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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