we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
