once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
