we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
