I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Life is so much better after having sex.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
