So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
