the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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