so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
