i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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