I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
