so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
