I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
