It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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