We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
