Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
honey bunches of taint.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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