Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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