You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
