My first STD was from a foam party
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
