We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
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