Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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