I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
