So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
