at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
