It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
