i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
50% drunk capacity currently
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
