I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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