My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
