Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
you will always have a special place in my vag
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
