it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
