Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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