Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
