And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
